This is something I wrote back in March of 2008. I've posted it before on Facebook so it's nothing new but I've read it over and over again to remind myself of the confidence I had when I wrote it. I figured it's a good start to having confidence in this blog...
Control? Who has it? Who wants it?
I've been thinking a lot lately about Control. What does it mean to be in control? I used to think that being in Control would mean that I would get everything I wanted. I would be able to choose what I wanted, how I wanted it, when I'd get it, etc.
But what I've come to realize is that Control doesn't guarantee that at all! I may want to Control my life and get exactly what I want but ultimately the only thing that I have Control over is myself. I can't create every situation that I want to happen and I can't stop the ones that scare me. But I can chose how I react to the experiences I'm faced with. For example, someone cuts me off while I'm driving. I couldn't Control the fact that they did it, but I can Control how I let it affect me. Do I want to be angry and irritated and let it affect my mood?
More often than not I think most people don't want to be unhappy or in a bad mood, yet we allow things like that to alter our emotions. That's right I said, allow. By giving someone else the Control over our emotions, we are making a conscious decision to stop being in Control. I think that a true self awareness and peace can come from learning how to be in complete Control over our emotions and reactions. However there is one contradictory thought that keeps bothering me... Can all that Control really be the best way to go? I mean there is something to be said for experiencing the ups and downs of life and feeling different emotions. By Controlling ourselves so much are we also somehow losing Control of the life experiences we all should go through?
Ok so I'm rambling and maybe none of this makes sense to anyone but me. It's all a jumbled up mess in my head. If you have any insight, I'd be so happy to hear it! To sum up the only things I know to be true concerning this matter are these...
1. Only you can make yourself feel anything, no one has power over your emotions unless you give it to them.
I've been thinking a lot lately about Control. What does it mean to be in control? I used to think that being in Control would mean that I would get everything I wanted. I would be able to choose what I wanted, how I wanted it, when I'd get it, etc.
But what I've come to realize is that Control doesn't guarantee that at all! I may want to Control my life and get exactly what I want but ultimately the only thing that I have Control over is myself. I can't create every situation that I want to happen and I can't stop the ones that scare me. But I can chose how I react to the experiences I'm faced with. For example, someone cuts me off while I'm driving. I couldn't Control the fact that they did it, but I can Control how I let it affect me. Do I want to be angry and irritated and let it affect my mood?
More often than not I think most people don't want to be unhappy or in a bad mood, yet we allow things like that to alter our emotions. That's right I said, allow. By giving someone else the Control over our emotions, we are making a conscious decision to stop being in Control. I think that a true self awareness and peace can come from learning how to be in complete Control over our emotions and reactions. However there is one contradictory thought that keeps bothering me... Can all that Control really be the best way to go? I mean there is something to be said for experiencing the ups and downs of life and feeling different emotions. By Controlling ourselves so much are we also somehow losing Control of the life experiences we all should go through?
Ok so I'm rambling and maybe none of this makes sense to anyone but me. It's all a jumbled up mess in my head. If you have any insight, I'd be so happy to hear it! To sum up the only things I know to be true concerning this matter are these...
1. Only you can make yourself feel anything, no one has power over your emotions unless you give it to them.
2. There are some things in life we have absolutely no Control over so why waste your energy worrying or trying to find sense in it?
3. There is not perfect answer. Sometimes you have to settle for something that works for the most part and stop trying to make everything make perfect sense.
Very nice. I think I mentioned this before: check out the Stoics, especially Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius. They have the exact sort of philosophy that you are presenting. Also, there's elements of Buddhism and existentialism here as well.
ReplyDelete@Shaunmiller... thanks ;) I actually love a lot of Buddhist philosophies. Maybe it's my Japaneses genes or maybe it just makes sense to me. Thanks for the comment ;)
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